That being said, certain sacrifices has to be made. I remembered the first day I kissed Lucas goodbye in the early hours of the morning as Daddy Chua whisk him off to my Mum's. I felt heartstrings tug as he clung to his dad and gazed at me with sleepy and confused eyes. I felt such guilt that I almost cried. I miss our mid-morning cuddles in bed and waking up to his sticky little hands all over my face. Those moments are only limited to weekends now, and there's not a lot of time to do that either, because coming home at 9pm every night means having a truckload of chores to do over the weekend. And before you know it, the weekend is over and everything starts all over.
While at work, I worry about his food intake, his learning progression, am not sure if he will face abandonment issues or thinks that his mummy doesn't love him anymore. Sometimes when I come back home and he greets me with a sullen face, I'm guilted to believe that he's angry with me.
Yes, I know I think too much and that these are unnecessary guilty worries. Any mummies out there who feel the same way?
So, I make it a point to spend at least 30 mins every day to bond with him. I'll nurse him, talk to him, listen to his goos and gaas, read to him or just smoother him with kisses till he squeals. Children grow up too quickly, and I know there will come a day when he will refuse my kisses and struggle to break free from my bear hugs.
In the meantime, I know I have to do what I have to do. I'm fortunate enough to have my mum look after him so I need not place him in IFC. So I'll just have to grit my teeth and believe that he understands that I'm doing this for him as well.
To all brave working mummies, I think we all deserve a huge commendation. Let's push on!
TGIF everybody! ^^
